Self Worth < Self Hate? or Vice Versa?

I was always told, "when people are mean to you they're just jealous."

As a child through your teenage years this concept usually feels more like a myth, rather than fact. But as you grow older you realize this may be true, and you mature, feel better, and go on with life.... Right?

Well, some people do let the echoes of high school horrors play softly in the background, get over certain body, skin, hair, color, attire issues, and let former words be a learning lesson.

But how many of these words live past high school and seep into our daily lives and from people that look just. like. you???

In life we are taught about, racists, misogynistic men, misandrous women, bigots, homophobic people, the list goes on and on but what if that same hate came from people just like you?

Men that hate men, women that hate women, lighter skin people of a race hating darker skin people of a race....

When I posted this question through different venues of Social Media it ignited a fire with bigger flames than I had imagined and it made me wonder if this type of hate was a form of self hate or lack of self worth.

Many issues arose when I asked the question "What types of hate do you deal with within your own race or sex?" In this post I'll only be addressing a few I found the most perplexing, there will be several more posts addressing some of the other issues I came across. These including, "the dangers of interracial marriage",  "Gays Hating Gays" and there were several issues dealing with "baby momma" or "baby daddy" drama.



Lighter Skin vs. Darker Skin

Racism is a well known, very hurtful, and slowly dwindling type of ignorance that is not a priori knowledge but an empirical or postiori knowledge, a knowledge that is learned or taught and proves very useless in the growth of any human being. Unfortunately this is not the only type of prejudice that is taught in some homes.

Apparently in just about all racial communities there arises issues when it come to things as menial as different tones of skin.

In the Black community there seems to be a stereotype that lighter skinned people are better accepted in America and in the Black community. It is believed that the light African Americans are "stuck up", "treated better", "have hygiene problems", the list goes on and on.

In the Hispanic/Latino community the darker skinned people of the community are immediately classified as "black", are rarely picked to play Latino roles, and in some communities aren't held to as high of a "standard" as lighter Latinos.

In the Middle Eastern community it is "better" to have "lighter eyes an skin".

The topic of different skin tones didn't seem to be a topic/issue amongst my Asian friends .

The topic of different skin-tones seem to strike a very hurtful chord within all of my friends, especially the women. I heard things like "Even though I was proud of my race 'I just never fully felt accepted" but is this taught in the home or by society? Is this an issue of self hate? and How many people actually believe these stereotypes?



Do Women Want Other Women to Fail?

I have several female friends and we all love each other very much and if I thought for a second the secretly hated my success, they would be out the door and out of my life. However, the common theme among women  is they don't "trust" other women, they believe that other women can "truly be happy" for them, and women just want to see other women fail?

I can't deny that, from the millions of women that have passed through my life via work, family or school, I've always hope the best for them. Because if I denied that I've ever been jealous I'd be admitting that I'm not human. However, I'd like to think that I'm above hating a woman just because she's a... woman. It would be more feasible for me to just not like her out of a reaction to a prior illicit action not solely on the amount of estrogen embedded in her DNA



Dating within your race a "no go"... But just for Blacks?

According to www.grabstats.com, There are 86 single men to every 100 single women in America. However, over 70 % of women in the Black community are single. According to the Census Bureau statistics, a Black man is two and a half times mores likely to marry outside of the Black community than a Black woman. While in the Caucasian race this doesn't seem to be such an issue. While the number of men marrying outside is higher that women marrying outside of the marriage ratio is menial.

When I asked my Black female and male friends about dating or marrying outside of their race the men, from my observance, seemed more receptive to the idea than Black women. Some Black women said they simply were not attracted to other races or thought this notion was unacceptable while some believed men of other races weren't physically attracted to them.

Do Black women have a irrational loyalty to Black men that Black men don't necessarily have for Black women? Have Black women been taught their physical attributes weren't accepted in other racial communities? Have the stereotypes of what is to be Black woman exceeded the Black woman herself? Why is it Taboo for Black women but not Black men to date or marry outside of their race?




I guess the question I end with is... "Is inter-community hate, self hate or lack of self worth and why teach your youth these things unnecessarily?"

I guess we all have to remember, all hate is either taught or learned and not a part of what forms us in the womb. Even though you can't close the little ones off in bubbles try your best to protects their head and hearts from from all hate.